always is a mystery
never try it so hard, and push it way too strong
u ll just ruin its way,
and break the path”
That was the thing i learn lately. Its about love, and it was on my own journey. Somehow i put more power in this relationship. Its not even work that far, i know, but somehow i felt like i dont wanna ruin it. I dont wanna lose it #notagain.
At that very moment, when i felt insecure, the time when i try to make it work faster, that’s the time i almost break it. There was time when i sit alone and singing the old song. Trying to memorize and imagine what was wrong and what i did wrong. I can not understand how could things like this keep happening to me all over again. Thats doesn’t mean that i mad to God for making me the victim again, i just keep wondering, where is the wrong key i put? i cant find a way out, i cant even find if there is any way out.
It just be that way as easy as it comes. I wanna be strong, I dont wanna lose, not now. And then i just found out the quote above in a story i read, “kau aku dan kota kita” written by tere liye. This book teach me so much about love and friendship. And that phase, its just remind me that may be i really was wrong. I try too hard which then be the reason why it break. Heart is so fragile. Do it fine and u ll be just fine. But if u hold it a little too hard, u ll just make it smashed. Its not unbreakable of course. Friendship and love, is like the sand. Grasp it in your hand, and hold it smoothly. Not too tight and not too loose. The harder you try, u ll just make them spread away. But if it is too loose , then u ll lost it even more.
You know what happen when i did loose and ran down my impulsion, that’s the time i get all back in track. Thanks to God i got it again. I promise i ll be patient and calm, and hope so to my heart. That way, i know i ll never lost.
poor her ,
she is like the character in the story who will always been the friend. then she realized she doesnt just want to be the friend. she wants to be the girlfriend, except its too late
-quote from a movie-